I’ve become increasingly more aware on the curse of being trapped in a routine. Don’t get me wrong, routines can be great sometimes!! They are safe and predictable. You can prepare ahead for your next day events and you know exactly what to expect. The downside of a routine? It becomes increasingly hard to change once you’ve settled in.
Since moving home (which will be exactly one year in October), I have established and edited a nice little set up for myself. Everything is color coded on my iCalendar to show me the bright and cheery path for my day. I thought everything was great until one day, I had to skip my usually morning workout to run some errands and I freaked out. No, I’m not exaggerating. I was so anxious and upset because I couldn’t go for one workout. I workout every day, physically it is no problem to take one off. Mentally, well that’s another story.
Since then, I have been a lot more aware of my stress level. If I have another section of time blocked off for something and I can’t get to it when I scheduled it, I have a really hard time being okay with that. Not surprisingly, my yoga has been a bit neglected. I can’t feel fluid.
Yesterday I was driving home from Maine (a 3.5 hour drive with some traffic) and I had what I call a “so tired from driving your mind begins to go introspective” epiphany: I need to change things up.
I don’t have the most stressful job, but it feels that way with all the toxic stress I deal with. I have to come in, guns blazing, every single day or else someone tramples over me. “Well, why don’t you quit?” Good question. I can’t quite because I have no real excuse to leave- besides the pointless drama. I work full time, get paid enough to make a dent my student loans, and I get to color. It’s not a bad gig for my current situation.
I decided to do two things that instantly made me feel better:
1. I started looking into my hormones. Maybe my thyroid meds are throwing me off? Dr. Sara Gottfried has posted many articles and webinars on getting to know your hormones and how to deal with imbalance. Mindbodygreen.com has her Hormonal Imbalance video series and it has been very eye opening. (While it is aimed more towards women, I encourage anyone to listen to the part where she describes how all hormones relate and work together.) What I thought was a thyroid problem was actually a high cortisol level- always anxious or stressed.
So, I’m always in stress mode. What do I do? Get my life together and find the real source of my stress.
2.I bought the book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, by Marie Kondo. It is not very lengthy, but it holds a lot of valuable information and advice on “keeping your house in order”- which means “cleaning out all the crap in your house and letting go of the emotional attachment you have to things you don’t use or wear”. It’s very liberating to hear someone tell you that it’s okay to donate that sweater someone bought you that you never wore, or that you are allowed to ditch the projects you never got around to finishing. I have an obscene amount of clothes and items I don’t use but hold on to and I finally was able to hold each item in my hand and figure out whether it sparked joy, NOT whether I’ll need it or maybe use it one day.
These two things in the span of one week have made me feel so much better about my life. Before, my room was a mess, I was always forgetting things, and my life felt rushed. Well, my room is an even bigger mess now hah, but I feel good about all my progress.
I even had the clarity to blog! Which I miss doing.
I hope everyone enjoys their weekend! <3